Empathy

At times we have to teach something besides academics.  How do you teach things like social skills and empathy?  Teaching those is harder than academics.  Why?  Because there is no grade.  There is no right or wrong answer.  It is very difficult for anyone, much less students, to recognize how their behavior was inappropriate.

When I taught Adaptive Behavior Unit, a special education class of emotionally disturbed students, we faced inappropriate behavior and lack of empathy daily.  There were constant remarks to intimidate and humiliate other students.  These were defensive tactics from student who were in pain.  They had spent years being disciplined for these behaviors with no progress.  They were simply unable to realize why their behavior was unacceptable.

The aide serving in the class with me at the time was completing her college degree with a teaching certificate.  She was required by one of her professors to view several movies about students with disabilities.  She was a busy wife and mother who worked full time and went to college at night.  One day when she was complaining to me about the lack of time to view these films, I replied, "Just bring the movies in here and we will all watch them."

I did not realize what would happen.  I was trying to help my aide and keep my students busy.  We began watching the first movie and as can be expected, the student with the disability was insulted, tormented, and harassed.  Suddenly one of the students turned to me and said, "Miss, that's not right.  They shouldn't do that to her.  She can't help how she is."

I thought, Excuse me.  You do exactly the same thing.  They were able to recognize inappropriate behavior on the screen, but not in person.  The same thing happened every time we watched a movie.  The difference was my students weren't emotionally involved in the movie.  It is easier to analyze a situation when you are not emotionally invested.  Those movies were valuable teaching tools.  We talked about the behavior and how the bullied student must have felt.  By the end of the school year, we hadn't fix the problem but we had made progress.  

Don't blow off valuable teaching moments that seem to pop up unexpectedly.  I tell  teachers that the difference between a good teacher and a great one is the ability to recognize those teachable moments.  The same thing goes for parents, the first teacher any child has.